Esme Writes.

This morning I was traversing the interwebz and I stumbled into this cartoon:

From toothpastefordinner.com

Obviously the tall fellow is the nerdy fellow’s more attractive, athletic and, of course, far more experienced counterpart, who is attempting to let him down easy because (you and I both know) he slept with the apple of nerdy guy’s eye last night. You know, the ol’, “I’ll drop you off first, man and then take her home” routine. Oh, and this isn’t the first time it’s happened.

What Attractive Fellow is really saying is that he thinks Nerdy Guy needs to do the proverbial Getting Out There, to Play The Field aka Fuck Anything That Shows Interest Because Lord Knows You’re Twenty Two And Still Have Yet To Get Laid. And if you can’t do that, you should curl up and die, you pathetic loser, because there are still those times where we hang out and SERIOUSLY MAN if you mention how terrible the movie The Watchmen was based on how they changed the entire ending which meant that the entire philosophy of the graphic novel was altered to promote a more viewable film  for the general public or how when you were in high school you completed your build of a Wing Zero Perfect Grade Gundam after only 5 days after scouring ebay for it for three months, I will seriously punch you in your ironic buddy holly frames and NO MAN! I do not want to sit around for another weekend playing co-op Halo 2 campaigns with you!

I just want you to find a lady. Get laid.

Nerdy Guy just sighs because he understands the nuances of Attractive Fellow’s front, and deep down knows that he has his back.  He also knows that one day he will meet a Geeky Girl just for him.

Geeky Girls: They Do Exist.

I’ve found in Los Angeles that they just have mostly been reincarnated into the form of a Hipster Girl. Seriously.

I am one of them.

Growing up I spent my childhood reading and playing extensive games outside that involved magic and trees talking, pretty much my very own LOTR world before I had read The Hobbit.

In forth grade I got glasses and braces. I was no longer cute. Throw a big ol’ afro poof on Nerdy Guy up there and you basically had me.

I loved reading and writing and drawing and singing in chorus. And science class. A lot. I memorized the Periodic Table of the Elements.

Then I got contacts and my braces came off and as much as I would like to say I was the ugly duckling turned swan…I still didn’t kiss a boy until I was 16. At a “Make Out” party. Where everyone was kissing everyone.

Since my senior year in high school I decided that I would just embrace my passions, my hair that has a mind of it’s own and the fact that I really really really love playing Halo and Halo 2 and Halo 3. And N64. And Wii. Okay most video games.

Since then, I have discovered that the number of Hipster Girls who also loved video games and have read The Watchmen (prior to the release of the movie, mind you), who were into riding bikes, playing board games on a Saturday night, and yes, also those who have watched Cowboy Bebop and loved it, are a lot higher than I ever would have guessed.

And how many times has the situation occurred when you see a Hipster girl and ask yourself, “why is she with him?”

It just makes sense.

We love our Nerdy Guys.

1) Attention to detail: anyone who can spend a week putting together a model of anything with 8748172648237 parts and do so while the instructions are in Japanese, is aware of subtleties and the array of complexities that occur when you have two very similar pieces in the same color with only slight differences. They then apply this to RL.

2) Imagination : Nerdy Guys tend to have an expansive imagination and ambition honed from hours in RPG land and being the hero of most of their games. This also leads to a higher level of chivalry than in most dudes. Think King Arthur meets WOW.

3) Brrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainssss : Nerdy Guy tends to know a lot more on an expansive range of subjects, stemming from their interests in learning or just spending hours on Wikipedia. They can talk about a lot of things from Russian KGB training to the silk road of china to why Lyndon B. Johnson is an underrated president or how today’s economic situation mirrors the lives as seen in Steinbeck’s The Grapes Of Wrath. They also usually appreciate fine Zombie Cinema.

Attention to detail + Imagination + Brrrrrraaaainnnnnssssss = <3

Less than three them. So. Much. Luffs.

My final point is (not to make a gross generalization) in my experiences as a Geeky/Hipster Girl, the Attractive Fellow seems to be the worst in bed, I think it stems from the fact that in their career they never once did have that moment where their lady in waiting tells them that they are doing just that….waiting….and waiting….and waiting……………………….still waiting. They just fake it and chalk it up to “Well he was hot” and then feel bad that someone so pretty can’t do it right.

So what I say is:

Cheer up, Nerdy Guy!  You can always move to Echo Park or Silverlake.

EPIC WIN!